The Myth of Personal Growth: Why It Doesn’t Always Look Like Instagram Says It Should

“Growth doesn’t always look like clarity. Sometimes, it looks like falling apart in a way that finally tells the truth.”

Growth Isn’t Always Pretty

Let’s be honest. The version of personal development you see online? It’s often polished, filtered, and ritualized. You know the look — candles, clean journals, a cup of matcha, and a caption about becoming your “highest self.”

But real growth?
It’s not always photogenic.
It doesn’t come wrapped in certainty or surrounded by peace.

Most of the time, it begins with chaos.

What It Actually Feels Like

Real transformation often starts when you hit a wall — or rock bottom.
Not because you planned it.
Not because you followed the perfect morning routine.
But because something inside of you cracked open and said:

“I can’t live like this anymore.” or even more bluntly “This is not it. This is f*cked.”

And from that breaking point — not a vision board — comes the first real shift.

We’ve Confused Growth with Lifestyle

There’s a popular version of growth being sold online:
✔ Swap your coffee for matcha
✔ Book a retreat
✔ Read 5 self-help books
✔ Plan a new workout regimen
✔ Light a candle and manifest your dreams

Does some of that help? Absolutely!
But that’s not where growth begins.

Because you can do all of that and still avoid the one thing that actually matters:
Telling the truth about what’s no longer working.

What Real Growth Looks Like

It’s subtle.
It’s often invisible to the outside world.
And it usually starts in a moment that no one claps for:

• Lying awake at 2am with a sinking feeling in your chest

• Breaking down in the car after holding it together all day

• Admitting to yourself that you’ve been pretending

There are no fireworks here.
Just a quiet knowing: Something has to change.

You Don’t Need to Be Ready. You Just Need to Begin.

Here’s the truth no one talks about enough:

You don’t need confidence to grow. You need honesty.
You don’t need clarity to start. You need a crack in the pattern.

If you’re in the middle of a season that feels boring, heavy, uncertain, or foggy — it doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It might mean you’re already growing, just not in a way that fits the instagram grid.

Don’t Wait for Life to Look Calm Before You Begin

You don’t need the perfect conditions.
You don’t need a new plan.
You don’t need to look the part.

You just need to listen — to what’s no longer working, to what hurts, to what you keep pushing down.

Because when you start there —
with the real, the raw, the unfiltered —you’re already on your way.

“If you feel lost, you're not broken. You’re just between versions of yourself.”